Silky, Crunchy, or Scrunchy: What Type of Mom Are You?

I read a blog the other day asking if I was a silky, crunchy, or scrunchy mom. Apparently we are being placed into categories now. As if the simple title of "mom" isn't hard enough, now we have to decide if we are silky, crunchy, or scrunchy? What? No honey. What does that even mean? Am I pajamas momma? A potato chip momma? A 90s hair accessory momma? At this point I'm honestly just confused. So I did a little digging to find out the meaning of these laughable "titles" and this is what I learned.

silky momma

silky momma

The Silky Mom:

This is the mom who has her baby in a hospital and gets that epidural in hopes of not murdering her husband through the labor pains. She follows standard medical authority and vaccinates her children. A silky momma is a momma that isn't afraid to pop a bottle in her baby's mouth instead of a boob, and she probably doesn't even step foot in the organic section at the grocery store. And as quoted on Google, a silky momma is a "mom that relies on modern products for convenience and time management" (cue dramatic eye roll from 'crunchy' moms across the world).

crunchy momma

crunchy momma

The Crunchy Mom:

Two words. Holistic + Organic. These two words pretty much sum up what Google and the mom-blog world believe makes you a crunchy mom. These mommas tend to be known to use 'gentle' discipline on their kids. This mom takes the holistic approach to parenthood. No vaccines. No formula. Probably gave birth to their baby in a bathtub at home. Probably vegan. Probably doesn't allow screen time and only uses cloth diapers. Am I sounding judge-y yet? Cause I'm not done.

scrunchy momma

scrunchy momma

The Scrunchy mom:

You know those people that like to buy all organic veggies at the grocery store, but might swing by McDonald's and grab a cheeseburger on the way home? Yup....that momma is SCRUNCHY. She's a mix of the silky and crunchy mom. She might vaccinate her babies, but she also might be against using formula and have more 'crunchy' tendencies without completely diving into Crunchy Mom status.

Ok, I seriously can't get through this blog without laughing at how ridiculous I sound typing these "definitions". But this is the harsh reality of what us mommas are doing to each other. These damn labels! Enough is enough. In the words of Mr. Griffith, "Who gives a rat's ass?!" What's sad, is this whole silky, crunchy, scrunchy idea was started by MOMS. How do we expect to raise our own babies the way we want to when we are so quick to throw a label on what type of mom we are?

HUMAN MOMMA

HUMAN MOMMA

You wanna know what type of mom I am? A HUMAN MOM. We ALL are. We're all just trying to do what we believe is best for our babies, and that's what matters. There is nothing wrong with ANYTHING I listed in the label definitions if that's what you think is best for your babies, but throwing the label on it is what separates us when we should all be sticking together. When I was doing research on this topic, one of the first posts on Google was "9 Reasons You're a 'Silky Mom' and Why That's Okay" or "9 Reasons You're a 'Crunchy Mom' and Why That's Okay". I don't like that. That's basically giving someone approval for their label they didn't even ask for. Because if I went by what the blogs tell me, I'd probably fit the 'Scrunchy Mom' category on paper. Which would mean I'm probably too 'modernized' for the crunchy world, but too 'organic' to be silky. Nah......you can keep your "scrunchy" in the 90s. I'll just stick to being a Human Mom. What type of momma are you??